I am watching the Planet's funniest Animals (it is usually the humans who are "funny" or making the animals behave funny).
Nice Ex and I used to laugh about the phoney American guy who used to present it, pretending he was in a big studio full of laughing people when really he is clearly just stuck in a broom cupbord with multicoloured wallpaper, and a LOT of fake canned laughter!

A person on it was hoovering their dogs. Yes, HOOVERING the fur of two Golden Retrievers. This made me think of journo boy's dogs (whatever happened to him I wonder? He is back online with a new pic and same old boring profile).
Oh dear, singing Basset hounds. What else is on!?

B just left after our second evening of passion.
MMMMM! ;-)

Chubby boy text me, he is coming in December and asked me if the first weekend was convenient- I hope he's not expecting to stay here!? I am sure my bed would break and anyway, it may have B in it.

yes, these are lyrics nicked from Amy Winehouse...
But so appropriate!

I went to see my friend in hospital today, on the psychiatric ward.
This is the 3rd or 4th time she has been sectioned since I have known her, yet today was the most upsetting.
Whereas before I felt strong and able- as if my support was helping her- today I just felt very impotent and used.
It started with me getting woken up early and still dealing with some cold symptoms, then I discovered the regular trains weren't running and it took an age to get there.
I also had a chat with a mutual friend first, who had done her best to get her stuff like clothes and food yesterday. Of course they feed her in hospital, but she is very picky.

So I called to find out visiting times, and announced my visit to her on the phone. She never gets terribly excited (being depressed and on medication and all), but her lack of enthusiasm is always a bit of a downer, and she asked me if I'd buy her tobacco (she hasn't smoked in years!).

I finally found the ward, which had moved, and I realised straight away that her being in there again wasn't a mistake.
She was smoking and not acting her real self.
We then went out into the rain, and she immediately asked me for money as she had none.
I told her about my own financial problems, but agreed we should go somewhere and sit down.

At the pub, she ordered the most expensive (alcoholic) drink on the menu, and I asked her if she was allowed to drink. This seemed to piss her off, and she told me she wasn't on any medication.

We also ordered some potato wedges, and I paid for it all on my card.

I had actually begun to feel tearful when I was encountering all those train problems, and then upon not finding the ward, so her brusque attitude really affected me.
I have seen her like this before, but I used to feel stronger myself then, and positive about her getting better in the future- which no longer appears to be the case, as all she does is repeat the same cycle of being unwell, muddling on for a while, and then landing back in psychiatric care again.

She didn't mention having been raped to me, so I assumed it was probably an illusion she now no longer believes in. Or she didn't trust me enough, after all I hadn't seen her for months- so who knows.

I sat down with her (she was smoking a fag she had bummed from the table next to ours) and tried to make small talk until she questioned me why I was asking her all those personal questions? This relating to questions about her cats and recent work...
I mean one minute she was keen to tell me about what had happened to her kittens, then she said it upset her talking about them because they'd been taken away. Every time I tried to put a positive spin on things (such as: they are getting good homes now, don't worry...) she argued back.

She also didn't seem interested in anything I had to say. For starters, I haven't had an easy time myself and didn't want to burden her with it, and then she became hostile and told me I was repeating myself.
She became very touchy when I asked her if she wouldn't want her mum to come and see her, and kept contradicting herself. One minute she was a voluntary patient, next minute she said she couldn't leave and didn't know when she would be able to, as she'd been sectioned.

I put salt on my chips and she warned me she didn't want any on hers, I put some ketchup on the side of the plate and she mocked me about using all the sauces, then she put salt on the wedges on her side of the plate, saying: "that's how we eat them up North!"...

She asked me for money for cigarettes and I refused. After bumming another cigarette she came back and told me she was bored, then she walked out of the pub and the half-eaten chips without a second glance.

I decided to follow her. I mean fair enough if she wanted some space because the interaction was too much for her in her present state perhaps, but this was so rude of her and I'd had so much trouble to get there just for her sake, I just needed to let her know that.

I followed her back to the hospital and told her how I felt, but I couldn't shake her out of her mood. I was momentarily worried she might attack me, she seemed so confrontational, but I couldn't walk on eggshells any longer.
I escorted her to the door, trying to lift the mood by reminiscing about out first holiday together, but again she managed to drag it into the negative with an irrelevant comment about her sister.
It was a constant tug-of-war and I let her walk into the ward, but stayed by the door. She didn't turn around.

I walked back to the pub and finished the chips and cried.

I cannot tolerate her behaviour any longer by being a supportive friend, because this only encourages her to keep on this path to self-destruction.

I did the deed with the Object of my Affection last Sunday. Twice! :-D

He came round for dinner (late lunch for me), I cooked it like some sad little housewife and he was late like some uncaring husband, but we had a lovely time eating it and then chilled out in my bedroom for a bit with some music and TV.
He still didn't say much but I tried not to let that bother me.
I gave him a massage, first on his back and then the demanding little so and so insisted I do his legs as well, but I told him only if he reciprocated... ;-)
I didn't regret it!
I made him take off his shirt, and got my massage oil. His back looked lovely and strong and muscly nut not too skinny. He has such a lovely colour, like a chocolate milkshake, no spots and only a small scar on the front near his nipple above his heart, where he was stabbed. Yes, really. He used to mug people. No, JOKE!!! ;-) He was helping his mate and 3 guys jumped on him, one had a knife. Horrible. :-(
It is interesting what you can learn about people by their bodies.

So anyway, I am massaging him and really trying my best, but feeling a little bit used. I just worried he'd fall asleep or leave before it was my turn to get massaged. It has all happened before!

So I am moving on to his legs, his trousers actually came nearly all the way up his thighs, but how on earth do you massage someone's thighs!? Again I did my best, and then he wanted me to do the front too!
I was really hoping I would get something back now, but I needn't have worried. ;-)
I mean we hadn't even kissed since last week Friday...

This time we weren't drunk, and when he started on my back, I got instantly wet. I took off my top like he had done, then unhooked my bra so he could put the oil on me.
His hands felt amazing. They are big and a bit rough, but well shaped and well looked after. He has small callouses from playing his sport, but his fingernails were immaculate. I didn't think to ask if he gets manicures, I think he is just naturally beautiful! :-)

He covered me with his oily hands and smoothed his arms all over my back, making me feel warm, relaxed and very turned on. He was so thorough I was beginning to wonder if he really saw this as just a massage, but when he started on my calves I think my giggling and gasping gave my turned-on state away. I never knew someone's oily thumb in the back of my knee could feel so erotic!

I couldn't wait to move on to less innocent things and feel those hands in less innocent places.
I have to mention that this has rarely happened to me. Usually people I fancy this much and fantasise about just don't want to know. It is kind of amazing to think that a boy who took my breath away the first time he walked into class now wanted me naked. ;-)

He turned to my back again and came a lot closer, I could feel his dreads against my skin. Then he lay next to me with his arm around me and looked into my eyes. He looked absolutely stunning. He pushed my hair out of my face and kissed me tenderly on the lips.
Before long we were rolling around, kissing and trailing nails over skin. He kissed and sucked my neck, then pushed his hand gently into my bra and carressed my nipple. After some more teasing, kissing and rolling around we each had our hands in the other's pants, and I was really turned on.
I went on top of him and took his trousers off. The tip of his penis was peeking out of the top of his Calvins, just like in my fantasy! I liked and kissed down his stomach and took him in my mouth; I was pleased with his taste. His girth is quite generous but thankfully it wasn't the monster I had feared! He tasted a bit salty like pre-cum but not unpleasant and appeared to like what I did with my mouth. I tried not to make him come, so I stopped after a bit and lay next to him again. He was tickling my clit and asked me what I wanted him to do, so I asked him to lick me. He looked at me with this gorgeous expression, then slowly went down on me. He knelt on the floor whilst he buried his face between my thighs, and I came for the first time as he sucked my clitoris. I don't usually like that, but his lips felt really wonderful!

I hugged and kissed him, then pulled him on top of me. I got a condom out and took his boxer shorts off, put it on him and went on top. He really is so amazingly handsome, and looked like an angel with his dreadlocks spread out on my pillow looking up at me with his gorgeous green eyes.

His cock felt great inside me, and thankfully his energy had really picked up. We had fabulous sex in all sorts of mad position that sort of just naturally happen (after all- where in the Kamasutra is the one where he sits with his legs open whilst she hangs backwards off the bed, steadying herself with one hand on the floor, the other on his foot!?) ;-) We were both literally dripping with sweat and told each other naughty things.

After he came, I had to give him a towel to dry off, then we cuddled and he was fantastic at that, too! He kept his arm around me, stroking my back and drifted off, then looked at me from under his beautifully curled eyelashes, then drifted off again.

Then we did it again! Ended up with him behind me, grasping my hair. Wonderfully sexy and a bit naughty.
I wasn't sure if he wanted to stay around, but it was still quite early and he seemed tired whilst I wanted to do some things before going to sleep. Some girl rang him, he didn't pick up but I asked if it was his girlfriend- I don't want to get in the middle of things. He was shocked, and said "why would I have sex with you if I had a girlfriend?" but I think it's best to ask. Why would he tell me if he had one?

He had a quick shower and left, kissing me goodbye downstairs. I told him I'd probably have a really stupid grin on my face in class tomorrow! ;-)

I would rather not think about where this is going between us. As I expected, he is super sexy in bed but a bit quiet and moody/shy out of it.
--------------------------

The Samaritan didn't call today, his parents are back and we spoke yesterday, but I expected him to ring. Well, his loss, I wasn't gonna shag him anyway.

Fishboy texted late last night, I think he was drunk and with his mate.

Chubby boy text from oop North, he is coming to London and wants to meet up. I told him cool, we can have dinner or watch a play. He replied he still thinks about me. About my naked body I bet! :-)

I ended up not going to the fetish party. Will do next time when I feel less tired.