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Archives for: December 2005

Merry Bitch-mas

by Sienna @ 2005-12-24 - 15:33:53

Ok, I admit it, I am obsessed. however I have just discovered yet another annoying betrayal.
Turns out my "best mate" Samantha has been friends with the bastard all this time without sharing that lil bit of info with me.
It may upset me. Oh, wouldn't it just!
I mean, every time I asked about him or their "friendship" she told me to calm down, she didn't talk to him, he wasn't important, they were never that close, she was more interested in being friends with me, and so on.
So basically she lied to me.
She also knew he had a new girlfriend since August, well good luck to them. It made me think about hiding in his bushes and warning her. Mad. Apparently she's from Leicester. The cunt. So he pisses on my life, then just moves on, taking my best mate with him.
I mean, Samantha said she hadn't told me because it would upset me, how considerate of her. I am pissed off, and upset.
Actually I ended up crying and pouring my heart out to a famous actor in Soho House after I found out how she'd lied to me, and the girlfriend stuff, but that's ok, that actor's also a life coach. He said he hated seeing me unhappy, but never even paid for my drink- then again why would he, Sam had told me she'd get it...

I started taking Prozac today which made me feel funny and tired, but as I don't want to wake up crying every day over Christmas I think it's for the best. I haven't told my mum, she'd disapprove.

B called me the night before I left, at 1:15 am without leaving a message as usual. How intriguing. Not.

Wondering about seducing my 30-year old virgin friend, if he'll let me...

If I think about how happy I was last year, and what was going on behind my back the whole time, it's enough to drive anyone crazy.
Merry Christmas.


 
 

Chocolate Fountain

by Sienna @ 2005-12-19 - 17:27:51

I went out to a Christmas do at a posh club with Canadaboy on Wednesday.
The theme was Club 54, they had hippies with huge spliffs, girls in short psychedelic dresses and even some Rollergirls!
The band was awsome too. We got drunk pretty quickly on the free drinks, and then we discovered the chocolate fountain, just at the point where you are so drunk you don't care you look like a total pig whilst stuffing your face, and dripping brown sticky stuff all over your clothes.
I actually munched so much, I ran to the loo to be sick. Urgh! Canadaboy tried to kiss me, and I was looking around for something to take the taste of sick away, so I had another profiterole.
Samuel L Jackson turned up too, and we danced like loons in front of where he was sitting, before disappearing behind some curtain for a bit of a snog.
Lovely!
He's a great dancer too, I feel really comfortable with him.

We'd had dinner together too, he'd come round to mine with some roast chicken and I made the veggies. This was the first time he had been to my flat, and we chatted about the people we'd been sleeping with.
I cracked open some bubbly, then got changed and we headed off to the West End. He complimented me a lot, but he didn't look bad himself, in jeans and a black T-Shirt and suit jacket.

We went home separately and I struggled with an odd comedown, not exactly hangover, all day Thursday...

Midnight man

by Sienna @ 2005-12-19 - 17:13:54

My tryst with B has now reached the stage where "just sex" doesn't really cut it anymore. I think I won't call him again, I worry about my sanity.
He came round after midnight last night, after phoning me around 4 times without much to say, as usual.
The whole time I saw him, he said maybe 5 more words apart from the sex stuff.
I think I overreact and read his quietness as moodiness, but he wouldn't even take my coffee this morning, after two very passionate sessions of lovemaking hot sex.
I felt I really needed that shag, and it sort of put some demons to rest about our last time and the way he seemed to avoid me after, I think I'm just too paranoid but this sort of tells me I am getting in too deep and should just leave it.
For example, I had some drinks with friends last night, started to feel excluded from the conversation and went home, he called me again once I got in, then the call was interrupted. And I was thinking: "HOW RUDE, the bum just hung up on me..." I was about to text him not to bother calling me if he was just going to hang up when I got a text saying his battery had died. Ah, ok...

Communication outside the bedroom is kind of essential for any kind of "relationship".
I don't want to challenge him because he is so defensive, and I know just because he's quiet he's not necessarily hiding things but I can't help but wonder. Then again, who cares...

He left without breakfast this morning (making me feel like a fool for bringing us a tray of food to the bed) to avoid getting a parking ticket, but then I saw him out of the window, just sitting in his car for about 15 minutes. I rang him to find out if everything was ok (psycho, I know...), but he just kept asking what I was on about and that he was driving to work... I looked out the window again, and indeed he was gone. I felt like a right tit. But he could have just explained what delayed him without making me feel like I was having hallucinations.

I know it's not "going anywhere" and that I don't feel relaxed enough for it to just be a sexual affair, but he looked so gorgeous all night I know I'll find it hard to let him go.
Then again, I found it hard to sleep too. He was breathing really fast for someone who's asleep and I couldn't relax for ages.

When he first came over, I was already in bed wearing a silk nighty. He cuddled up next to me under the covers, and started kissing and caressing me in a really sweet but naughty way. I found it impossible to concentrate on my TV programme, so I turned it off and tuned into him instead. The sex was as passionate as ever, and we did it again this morning when I basically woke him up with a blow job, then put a condom on him and turned my bum towards him so he could enter me from behind whilst I touched myself. He was naked already and I never took my nighty off.
He came in me both times, talking dirty to me about where I wanted him to come. As I said, in bed we communicate really well...

He wished me a merry Christmas as he left, with a kiss on the lips. Merry Christmas indeed...

I think I will try to seduce my long-term-virgin friend when I am home for the holidays... ;)

Racists

by Sienna @ 2005-12-17 - 00:36:14

Ohmygod!
I just witnessed the most shocking outburst of racism I have ever heard, meaning in real life, directed at someone who means a lot to me. Really awful.
I was talking to B on the phone, he's drivig to a friend's birthday party and we kept getting interrupted so I was a bit annoyed, but then reception improved and I told him about a nightmare day at work I had yesterday. Then, all of a sudden some guy in the background started shouting abuse: "you fucking black nigger, you nigger!!! You fucking...!" and so on. Really terrible.
I asked him what the matter was and then I realised the abuse was directed at him. He told me it was some guy having a road rage, then he goes: "it wasn't me, it's not my fault" and so on, talking to this nut! I couldn't believe it.
The guy kept shouting at my lover, I found this so distressing to listen to, I mean I didn't know what was going on but it sounded like a fight was about to kick off. I mean if I'd been there I would have started it myself!
And then they go on about how young black men are angry all the time, I wouldn't have had his composure to be honest!
What a racist loon. I have never heard anything like it.
It made me feel so awful for him and my other black friends, I am sure I don't have a clue what they come up against sometimes.

I was really worried, he said he had to go, so I text him asking if he was ok, and that the guy had sounded like a nutcase from hell. He text back saying all was ok, he sorted it, but I ask you! I bet he didn't deserve that level of abuse.
Why do people pick on something so superficial when they want to abuse someone? Fat bastard, stupid cow, skinny bitch...
But I think if it's racist, it is even more hurtful.

I had to go in my kitchen and breathe, I nearly cried I was so shocked.

I hope I see him before I'm off for Christmas...

I have a new bed, too... ;-)

Fetish club

by Sienna @ 2005-12-14 - 20:21:57

The first time I went to a fetish club, we were just planning to have a laugh. I went with a mixed group of rather open-minded people, but they weren't really into fetish mostly.

I had a dream about one of the girls last night, I haven't seen her in ages. We once won a bottle of Whiskey or Rum or something at a karaoke night, drank it in my room, she confessed to having had sex on the internet, then I puked out of my attic window onto the roof because I was so drunk...

Anyway, this is about the fetish night.
I wore a PVC top and rubber skirt, just some cheap stuff I had picked up in Camden Market, high boots and a lot of eyeliner. And underwear, shows how much I know!
We were overwhelmed by all the people there, I mean "fetish" can be anyhing basically. There was one guy with a perm, who wore nothing but a pair of sheer woman's panties, and heels. Actually, I think this guy may have been there at another occasion, when I went with just one friend who nearly left right after spotting him. After all, if you fantasise about encountering buff boys in leather, spotting a 50 year old scrawny transvestite will make you dry up faster than an alcoholic in the desert!

So we are on the dance floor, sticking together, dancing, watching people being dominant and submissive, hearing someone being flogged next door, seeing more cellulite than rubber on some women, and more hair and piercings than PVC on some guys, when a tall, gorgeous man walks towards me. He wears leather trousers and a dog collar with leash.
I can't remember any small talk, only that he was happy to have me take him by the leash, and to call me mistress.
We danced for a bit, I kept hold of my gorgeous man by the leash, and ended up in the play area upstairs.
It was dark, it smelled sweaty and people were horny.

My slave kissed me and pulled me towards him, his back to the wall. I began to feel a hand moving up my skirt towards my bum, then two hands fiddling with my underwear and trying to stroke my crotch from behind. It was nice for a few seconds, like a sexy dream. I realised it was two people behind me, as well as my slave in front, who wanted to play with me. I freaked out a bit and told them to stop, then my slave and I moved on. The others didn't push their luck
-I have usually found the level of respect between people to be greater in fetish clubs than normal clubs. After all, if one person doesn't want their attention, there are plenty who do.

A small Chinese man was the only exception, he kept following me and my slave and touched himself vigourously whilst watching us kiss and make out.

We found a shower, for some privacy- and it turned out he was naked under his leather pants. They tied with leather laces up the front. More petting ensued, but I didn't want to get all my clothes wet, there were no towels.

Then we ended up in a toilet cubicle, where he gave me oral sex.
The toilets were unisex, and the queue consisted of a gimp in a full rubber outfit with a tube sticking out of his headdress, a few trannies, women with peekaboo rubber bras, suspenders and no knickers, and a guy who had more piercings between his anus and his balls than I have in my ears (he showed me)...

My slave pushed my up against the partition in the cubicle, he was kneeling whilst I held his leash, and he pushed my knickers aside and my skirt up and licked me. He looked at me like a puppy dog, and insisted I "come in his face"... However I don't think I came at all, it was horny but really bright and just too weird. Also I knew there were people queuing, which doesn't exactly help a female orgasm. I think I sort of faked it. I am sure he was disappointed I didn't squirt in his eye or something... ;)

My friends were chuckling about me and the dog leash boy (actually they still bring it up sometimes), and he came with us when we left.

We went back to my friend's house for a bit, where they questioned slave boy about his fetish.
It turned out he was absolutely genuine, he really was into all this submissive stuff. Whilst I was merely putting on a persona, pretending to be a dominant, aggressive bitch, he was totally for real.
I went back to his house. The sun was coming up. He lived in a shared flat above a cafe in Covent Garden, and I remember thinking what he paid in rent was expensive... It was only about £100 a week, happy days!
Apart from his bed, there were only some free weights on the floor in his room. It was pretty light by then, and we fucked.
All of a sudden he pulled out some clothes pegs and put them on his balls and nipples. I was astounded.
Actually, I did try this with another lover since, and he loved it. The pegs on the balls make them tighter, thus increasing sensation, and nipples become pretty tough during sexual arousal...
I have to mention, he was only the 5th guy I slept with, my 4th one-night stand, so I hadn't experimented that much. Apart from my ex shaving my pussy once when I was drunk. Nice...

Anyway, then it turned out that Slave boy had a little business going, hiring himself out as a naked slave butler for parties- for girls. I have no idea how many times he actually got booked, and he wasn't cheap!
At another fetish night I met a guy who got off on being a naked cleaner, and he did it for free but I worried what my house mates would say so I never told him to clean my house... ;)

So slave boy made me come with his tongue I think, since feeling the clothes pegs banging into me wasn't really that sexy, and we went to sleep for a bit. We had breakfast in the cafe downstaris, and I went home with his naked butler card.
I can't remember if I called him again, probably not. I mean, a boyfriend like that would be even more embarrassing than none at all!

The comings and goings...

by Sienna @ 2005-12-06 - 01:14:38


BBP stayed away from class today. I have no idea if he was avoiding me (probably not), or just busy (or tired, as always) but it was a shame as this was the last lesson before Christmas. I even text him yesterday, asking if he wanted to meet up to work on our presentations together, but he just text back, a bit dumbly, "what presentations?". So maybe he stayed away cos he was unprepared, who knows.

One of the internet boys (not the one who stood me up, he can go fuck himself with a Christmas tree) called me on Sunday night after 10pm. I mean, that's not past my bedtime, but I ask you! I don't even know the guy! It annoyed me before when he rang during "Notting Hill" (I hate that film, but still, I was busy) for a meaningless 20 minute chit chat without saying very much. Maybe I just need to talk less. Which I did on Sunday. I told him it was too late to call and I had stuff to do.
I basically had just come in from an evening with friends (culminating in me breaking out into tears after one beer, remembering the bastard), and really didn't feel like talking to a stranger on the phone, plus I DID have stuff to do.

BBP's last call was also somewhat unsatisfactory, he rang on Saturday around 6:30pm, to tell me he was in bed and about to go to sleep because "I'm soo tired...". Ok, whatever. I suggested he rang me on Sunday if he wanted to go swimming or whatever, but he never did. Christ knows what goes on in his head, cos he sure isn't sharing. Why call someone with nothing to say, with no intention of arranging a date or whatever? I think like a guy, I do- straight to the point, or where's the point?!
It's not like he's one of my friends and knows what to talk about, so I wonder why he bothers. I am confused...

I can't believe I still get so upset about the bastard. I have just arranged for some more counselling, it really has been a shitty year for me, but I don't seem to move on very fast.

A friend of mine had a bit of a pep talk to me the other night, she said I shouldn't waste my energy on internet dating and whatever, the right guy will come along when I don't NEED him. Easy for her to say with a 5 year boyfriend she's constantly bitching about... Still I think she has a point. I get upset when things go wrong, and I don't need that.

-------------

I read someone's blogged description of a threesome, and it reminded me of my first time in a fetish club.
Will go into that next time, when I've had some sleep!

Threesome

by Sienna @ 2005-12-02 - 00:31:52

I got stood up today.

Had arranged to meet a banker off the internet, but he didn't confirm the date. As I was doing something in Harrow and it was past 5:30pm, I decided to go shopping. As I was browsing through Primark, I get this text from him, saying "I am in the middle of the bar". I looked at the time, and indeed it was past 7pm but as I hadn't heard I didn't think it was going ahead. Whatever happened to ringing people on the phone!?
Anyway, I text him back telling him I'd gone shopping and if he could hang on for 45 minutes?

I then got me and my huge bags onto the train but when I tried phoning him it went straight to ansaphone.I left a brief message saying I was on my way despite the misunderstanding.
I arrived at the bar at 8pm, checked my bags into the cloak room, and he was nowhere to be seen. I went to the ladies and received a text that he had "thought he'd tried to contact me", but was now on his way home. great. What a waste of time!

I started moaning at a fellow woman at the sinks, and she was sympathetic but she had another problem to deal with- her strap had come off her dress, so I sewed up it for her.
She then invited me to her table for a drink. Glad to have something to do other than go home, and assuming it would be a group of people I joined her- but it turned out just to be her and her date, a wealthy-looking guy in his forties.

I had some of their wine, they offered me (very nice!) food too, and I regaled them with funny stories about my dodgy dates and life, then I discovered it was actually their 12th anniversary. They were really sweet and charming, but after I had eaten more food then them and began to feel a bit tipsy, I said thank you and goodbye and left. I was so happy to have met them though, what a waste of a night otherwise!

I checked out my Primark bags from the cloakroom (bet they'd never had anything like them in this posh place!), and tried calling my lover on my way to the tube.
His phone was unavailable.
Then I rang Sanderson-boy, the musical friend of mine who I had the wild night at the hotel with in March. No luck either, but I bumped into one of my gay mates in the station. Nice catching up!

Then as I was home, my lover rang without making much sense, saying he was playing drinking games. Oh the joy of being a professional sportsperson! ;-)
I questioned him why he'd rung me at 4:43am the other night, but he just shot straight back why I'd tried to call him earlier? The joy of communication...
Ah well, I will have to go to bed drunk and horny...
;-)
The banker can forget about me, what a wet blanket!


 
 

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