What the hell IS it with me!?

This guy rings me from NYC, the moment he gets in from Geneva, and I go all goey at hearing his poetic, raspy, arrogant American voice.

Yet this is the guy who
-fucked me for the first time when I was so drunk I threw up a bottle of wine all over his toilet seat
-"entertained" some other woman on his boat
-wrestled a condom out of my hand when I tried to put it on him
-tried fucking me up the arse more times than I care to remember (unsuccessfully I might add) to the point that I was scared he might "just do it"
-dissed and dismissed my friends
-didn't take me to the Playboy party
-wants to have business relations with a woman a good friend describes as a deceitful cunt
-drinks Absinth for breakfast
-makes empty promises ("I won't smoke around you", "I won't try (fucking you up the arse) again", "I'll make lunch"...)
-dropped two phones into the harbour in one week

Yet he also asked me to come to New York, picked me up and twirled me around whilst we were dancing, fed me and stroked me, carressed my ego, more than matched me in energy and crazyness, entertained and entwined me with tales of his charmed life and offered me the world.

Maybe I am just attracted to red flags, like a bull!?

Or I am attracted to bullshit, like a pathetic fly!?

Or am I attracted to flying, high and off my head like a piece of fluff!?