Noise. How fucking noisy is London? Police cars, people shouting, cars, another bloody police siren... The other night, a bunch of people hung out under my window with a gaggle of small kids, being very obnoxious well into my (and any kid's I should have assumed) bed time. The night after, a woman kept shouting: "Rachael" at the top of her voice every few minutes. I suspect it was the loopy one who walks around begging barefoot, or goes shopping in her dressing gown. Rachael is probably a figment of her imagination anyway...

The tube. It gets crapper, hotter and more expensive every year. Apparently, they will get rid of human ticket sellers in the near future. What if you need help working those bloody machines? What about blind people? Or do they travel free anyway? I have yet to see a touch-screen monitor in Braille...

Silly girls. "My hair, my nails, my weight, my mate's boob job"- argh, give me a break! One girl I currently work with looks like Kate from Lost, until she opens her mouth, displaying a row of perfect teeth, spouting utter dribble in a broad Essex accent. Or maybe it's me who's superficial...?

Men. Hot, cold, hot, cold, worse than an English shower! Where is the Aristocrat? "BUSY"? And Romeo? Funny, I text him, how I've seen more of Mr Bigshot than him although I don't fancy Mr Big... He only replied to ask if I was still in Scotland. Um, no... !?!?

Bloody idiots who grass you up at work. So what if I am on twice the wage doing half the work? No need reporting me for drinking with clients (they insisted!) and sneaking off left-over food (the lunch packs were horrid and we were hungry!). I will kill the lil bastard...

Fat. Having put on 5kg since stopping Prozac, I feel bloated, ugly and don't fit in my clothes. It also doesn't help having to eat horrid soggy sandwiches with mayonnaise in the company of really silly girls. You eat to get over the frustration of unreliable men and stupid staff who won't let you sneak off better food...

Agencies. I have been booked into a hotel prior to an early-morning job- this hotel is on a motor way and I don't have a car. Smart!
Another agency still owes me money for work I did in December. Yes, 2005.