Just now, I found the girl Tall Boy is/was sleeping with on the web.

She couldn't be more different, and I don't know if this is making me more jealous or not, or just pissed off he's not more honest with me, or whatever.

My stomach is churning and I'm confused.

Basically, I have liked him since last October, from the first day I saw him. He was friendly, fun and flirty, but not more; he didn't seem available.
One theatre date was followed by pretty much nothing but a pleasant atmosphere whenever he came to the office.

Then I met and started going out with Kensington Boy (KB )in January, and Tall Boy saw us together for the first time at my house warming party where he got really drunk (he gets really drunk a lot).

He kept his distance, but remained friendly and asked me how it was going for example- just before the weekend KB and I went oop north to meet his mum. All great, but the cracks were beginning to show because of his age, and I told Tall Boy that.

In any case, we split up at the end of March and suddenly Tall Boy came sniffing round again. He suggested we go out and that's when we slept together for the first time: on April 13th. Basically, he was too tired to go home, and I was too drunk to say no.
But man, the sex!
It made me feel so sad that I'd been missing out on that for KB and his chubby gut and droopy cock, but at least KB was available and reliable and I thought he loved me.

Ah well...

So then Tall Boy did his little disappearing act the next day, and we didn't sleep together again until that fateful day at the office, which I blogged about- and on my birthday morning.

Oh, and this morning!

Yesterday we worked together and had a dream holiday-like lunch break in the sun, where we kissed and cuddled like love's young dream, then in the evening we met up again.
I joined him and two mates after a night out with my friends, and Tall Boy was really rather pissed. So pissed in fact that he sent his cute mate to come pick me up from the hotel bar I had wandered into, confused about where they were.

So then he kissed and cuddled me in front of his friends, bought me drinks and flirted and laughed along with me as we bantered about drinking, related criminal activities, and odd places we'd had sex.

He got us a cab back to mine (although I am "more than invited, anytime, you know that" to E17) because I had to get clothes for today from home, etc, and we frolicked on my new sofa for a bit.

He was keen for us to retire to my bed, where we frolicked some more- until he started snoring with his dick still in my hand!!!
The rudeness!

I sat astride him, his cock still hard in my hand, and watched him fall asleep. Nice.

I gave it a few more half-hearted strokes and even briefly, idiotically considered fucking him anyway (I was horny and drunk and very annoyed) but thought that would be really fucking weird.

I rolled over and tried to go to sleep, but couldn't. He pulled me towards him, spooning me and nuzzling my neck, but I was not in the mood for fake cuddles and pretend affection.

So, I did the "logical" thing: picked up his blinking phone from the bedside table, and retreated to the bathroom like a cat with its prey.
And surely enough, there were messages explicit enough to confirm that:
-he was sleeping with another woman at the end of May
-he had gone to see her after he left my birthday party, and before he returned
-they had got up to some naughty stuff in public
-some other girls seem quite fond of him too
-his "sent" box only stores five messages (damn!)

...

Ok, so my heart was pumping and I felt my insides drop by a few inches, but as it didn't come as a massive surprise, just a confirmation of my instincts I didn't totally collapse with the shock like I had done when I snooped in the Bastard's phone all that time ago.

The important difference: Tall Boy and I aren't really going out, there was no talk of commitment, exclusivity, fidelity, love or other such shmonsense, and also: I had guessed- having by now learned to trust my gut.

My gut, in turn, churned, and I was glad to be in the bathroom already as I kept flicking through the messages. I felt stupid, small and sad and resented the drunk, naked man sleeping in my bed- but:
Hey, what would anyone find if they looked through my inbox!?
Messages from Flaky Boy/Bollinger, thanking me for a wonderful afternoon (xxxx), Mr Shortie complaining of my lack of affectionate blabla for him, Pet Shop Boy raving about our day on the beach, Chelsea Boy flirting and asking me to sleep over next time, the wannabe Sugar Daddy confirming our dance date tonight, my Swedish friend looking forward to seeing me this weekend... and my former therapist getting back to me with rates and times of when she can see me.

Also- wasn't I happily riding another man's cock on a yacht just a few days before Mystery Girl remarked to Tall Boy that "this poor man really got an eye-ful!"!?!?!

Ok, what pissed me off the most was that Tall Boy wasn't honest (well, then again I hadn't really asked him anything), that I had yielded to his charms in the first place, and that ON MY BIRTHDAY, he had a gift for HER, not ME.
I mean, it was only a small, token, going-away gift (yes, she is now abroad- but not without texting him her new number) but it meant something; whilst he didn't even get me a birthday card!!

Oh yes, and that I slept with him anyway. Two weeks ago, after kicking my sister out of bed, and this morning, when we woke up and he started to kiss me sweetly, stroked my pussy and smiled at me with these wonderful green eyes. Oh and despite all the booze I witnessed him consume, he smelt like an angel- and fucked like a god.

I found her online later this morning; she's petite, black and 22 years old, with a wide nose, skinny arms and short hair.

Her being so different from me (and abroad now) made it somehow easier to digest. P
art of me is smiling: we're just as bad as each other! With possibly the distinctive difference that I really do want to be in a committed relationship, and he doesn't at all. He told me himself this morning, and when I asked after her (without confessing about the phone of course) he said she's just a friend.
With wheels apparently. And ten years younger.
How convenient!