I think I have a crush on my gynaecologist.

Warning: This is not a sexy post, it's a medical one! Everyone with a phobia of "women's problems" please continue reading elsewhere.

It was up to him to deliver the bad news on that fateful, snowy day at the end of January when the second pg test also came back negative.
The blow was somewhat eased by his cute face and genuine concern.

I didn't expect to see him again (as you usually don't in the NHS), or at least not so soon since I assumed he specializes in antenatal care.

Today, after much poking, prodding and copious amounts of lube however (and somewhat less professional musing about my unusual surname and recent birthday) he had to call in an expert to explain the mass visible on the computer screen.

Seldomly have I felt that my vagina has provided such prolonged entertainment to someone examining it from afar and without any movement involved, but I was just as curious to hear what it might be as my sexy doctor.

A senior consultant was called and asked me how long this pain had gone on.
As with most problems which only present themselves once you find yourself back on your bed, naked with a well-endowed young man (and possibly a bit drunk, too) it is hard to say.
Especially as the pain subsides as soon as you are bathed in a post-orgasmic glow. You don't really tend to dwell on it, especially if previous pelvic exams have thrown up nil and to even get to the point of exam requires lengthy, self- centred moaning about a phantom pain which comes and goes.

With GB I hardly felt a thing, mostly to do with the lack of hardness and comparative shortness of his dick, but when I was sleeping with Tall Boy (those half-dozen of times) I often felt an uncomfortable twinge which I couldn't explain.

"It's a fibroid" announced the senior consultant, after much probing into the history of my suspected PID back in 2001 and that mystery pain, and a brief swirl around my insides with the cock-shaped ultrasound wand.

So let me recap:
on top of 1) my ever-present PCOS, 2) the same HPV strain that killed Jade (albeit my last 2 smears were fine), 3) a retroverted womb 4) my advancing age and penchant for cheats and toy boys 5) a past miscarriage I now also have 6) "Fibroids" and also 7) a newly discovered condition which may or may not exist and could cause problems (although which ones are yet to be discovered) called "adenomyosis"!

On the plus side, I probably don't have a blocked tube because the doctor doubts I ever had pelvic inflammatory disease after all. It was probably just a kidney infection brought on by a bout of cystitis.

So my pussy is now completely mapped out, although I will have to decide if the pain during sex and pregnancy which I experienced due to the fibroids warrants an operation.
They tend to grow under the influence of oestrogen, which is raised in heavier women (um, that would be me then) and pregnancy (something to look forward to, then...)

At least it's not "all in my head" and on the other hand nothing to really worry about, apparently.

Now I just have to find out where the sexy gynae goes for after-work drinks...